The Shallot

The Shallot is a new section that is included in The Belltower. The Shallow will feature work intended to examine issues through a satirical lens regarding Saint Martin’s University, The Belltower, the surrounding community, and anything and everything in between. The views expressed by The Shallot do not necessarily reflect those of The Belltower, Saint Martin’s University, or other concerned parties. The Shallot accepts guest articles. If you would like to submit an article for consideration, please e-mail

Past Issues:

Boeing hires better interns to solve MAX 8/9 issues

Public Safety finds full service bar in Burton Hall during fire drill

Thurston County classifies Spangler Hall as farm given number of animals

SMU to change name to “The Saint Martin’s University”

Saint Martin’s announces attending classes, doing homework is no longer necessary

Archived documents show that Baran Hall was once a prison

Students attacked by rampant squirrel problem on campus

Saint Martin’s University spends millions on awning

Furniture Moving hits all-time high in Parsons Hall

Saint Martin’s to open satellite campus at PLU

Much like Greece, this yogurt is a lost cause

ASSMU: Putting the arts in liberal arts

ITS to add second Wi-Fi following negative insight from students

Freshman seminar professors institute naptime as graded activity

Online classes cause students to take up day drinking

COVID-19 mutates in dangerous new way

Current Issue:

Belltower gets new competition from “Foxtower”

Saint Martin’s acceptance rate hits 103 percent